Is Your Inner Narrative Holding You Back?

How to Recognise and Rewrite Your Story

The stories in your mind are created by you - and that means you also have the power to change them. Photo by Florian Klauer on Unsplash

Stories shape our world, and our place in it. We use them to teach, inspire, and connect. But the most powerful stories are often the ones we tell ourselves. These inner narratives influence how we act, react, and make decisions - whether we realize it or not

So the question is: is your story helping you move forward - or holding you back?

When Your Story Holds You Back

There are many ways we might find our story holding us back. Perhaps:

• You don’t speak up in meetings, because you don’t feel like your ideas are ‘good enough’

• You avoid going for the promotion because of a fear of failure.

• You don’t start that new venture because you don’t want to ‘expose yourself’ to the world.

• You stay stuck in a career because "that’s not what I’ve been trained to do."

For some, we might not even realise that we are being held back by our stories. These narratives form our inner dialogue, so deeply ingrained that we sometimes don’t even hear the voice saying, “I can’t do this.”

Sometimes we don’t even know why something minor made us feel so bad - it just does.

Where Our Stories Begin

The inner narrative can be hard to recognise - it comes from our formative years where ideas were ingrained into our sub-conscious. Over time, our life experiences reinforce these beliefs - not necessarily because they’re true, but because our subconscious seeks to affirm them.

We grow up being taught to rely on external validation - whether it’s our grades in school, accomplishments in sports, or the approval of parents and peers. In today’s world, social media amplifies this need, constantly reinforcing the cycle with likes, shares, or follows.

A Personal Example: Selling as Problem-Solving

Alongside my coaching work, I work as a management consultant. For a long time, I held myself back from the commercial side of consulting, telling myself, "I’m not good at selling - It's not for me and I don’t like it." But then a close mentor pointed out that selling is really about problem-solving - something I already loved about consulting. Yet I continued to resist...

It took time (and coaching!) to uncover the true root of my resistance. For me, selling felt like putting myself out there, and the fear of rejection reinforced a narrative: “You are not liked, and you are not good enough.”

Once the penny dropped, I felt empowered to change that story. It hasn’t been an overnight transformation, but slowly, I’m stepping into the game and, to my surprise, actually enjoying it!

When the Narrative Isn’t Serving You

Although it can be tricky to recognise, there are signs that indicate our limiting narratives might be holding us back:

1)      Trapped in the Familiar

Staying in your comfort zone isn’t always a bad thing. Life’s natural rhythms often demand a slowdown or a pause on your career path. However, if this results in ongoing missed opportunities, dissatisfaction, or a lack of fulfillment, it’s likely your narrative isn’t serving you.

Once we realize how our narrative shapes our choices, we can begin shifting direction.

2)      The Inner Critic on Loop

If you find yourself constantly thinking, “I’m not good enough,” “I always fail,” or “I can’t do this,” chances are your limiting beliefs are at play.

Sometimes, this shows up as false humility - questioning your abilities or avoiding new opportunities. Take a moment to reflect: What story are you playing out? What is truly holding you back?

3)      When Recognition Feels Like Survival

If you struggle to recognize your own efforts, needing positive feedback to feel "enough," or if negative feedback sends you spiraling, you’re not alone. Many high-achievers fall into this pattern, especially when early success becomes a core part of their identity.

But this focus on feedback keeps us stuck in a loop, reinforcing the narratives that limit our growth rather than breaking free from them.

We all have the power to rewrite our story

The good news is that the stories in our heads are just that - stories. They only have the meaning and power we give them. The more we understand this, the more we can be empowered to change our narrative.

It’s not an overnight transformation because these stories have years of reinforcement. This is why feelings and behaviors often become automatic, so automatic that we don’t even notice them. But with time, we can change them.

1)      Notice the story

Start by becoming aware of when your inner narrative shows up. Write it down. Ask yourself: Whose voice is this? Is it really mine?

Understanding where your narrative comes from isn’t always necessary - but it can be helpful to remember that the story is in your head, not a concrete reality. If the process feels painful, it’s okay to seek help.

The more aware you are of when the story is running the show, the more empowered you’ll be to change it.

2)      Rewrite the script

Replace limiting beliefs with ones that reflect your true potential.

If the narrative is: “I’m not good enough,” change it to: “I am enough.” Then, reinforce this new story with real-life examples.

Every time the old narrative crops up, remind yourself of the new one. Write it on a post-it note, carry it with you, or journal about it. Ask yourself: What did I notice? How did I respond differently?

For some, turning this into a creative piece helps. Create artwork that represents your new truth and place it somewhere you can see it every day.

3)      Reinforce through action

The quickest way to change is through action. Every time you step outside the old story—even in small ways—you prove that the new one is possible.

When your inner narrative tells you not to do something, pause and ask yourself if it’s based on an old story or a valid reason. Gradually, as you take thoughtful actions that challenge your limiting beliefs, you’ll begin to reinforce your new, empowering story.

And Above All: Lead with Compassion

 You won’t rewrite years of self-talk in one go. This is a practice, not a perfection game.

Remember the stories in your mind are created by you— and that means you also have the power to change them

Are You Ready to Change Your Story?

If you're ready to challenge the story that's holding you back, then that's great! You already have the pen—now it’s just about writing the next chapter with intention.

If you need help navigating your inner narrative and making the shift, I’d love to support you. Reach out to explore how you can begin rewriting your own story today.

The most powerful stories aren’t always the ones we tell others—but the ones we tell ourselves. Photo by Diego PH on Unsplash