Embracing Imperfection

Embracing Imperfection

How many times have you hesitated to hit ‘send’ on an email, spent hours rewriting a message, or lost sleep over a decision that wasn’t ‘perfect’? You’re not alone.

Perfectionism may seem like a badge of honour for high achievers, but more often than not, it can become a heavy burden that weighs on your happiness and productivity.

Perfectionism Is a Spectrum

For some, perfectionism is obvious; for others, it’s less clear-cut. You might be comfortable making mistakes at work but insist on a strict routine at home—everything must be tidy, spotless, every meal perfect. Or perhaps success feels like a checklist: six-figure salary by 30, married by 32, CEO by 35.…

Perfectionism can show up in many ways across our lives, sometimes without us even realizing it. For example, at work, I made a conscious effort to start embracing mistakes, which helped a lot - high-stakes emails and presentations no longer triggered a panic spiral. But in my personal life, it was only recently that I realized I had continued to hold myself to unrealistic standards, fixating on achieving specific career and life milestones, believing that they represented the 'perfect' path.

When I didn’t hit those milestones, I felt like I had failed. It took time for me to realize how perfectionism can creep into different areas of our lives.

Recognizing when perfectionism appears, even in subtle ways, and understanding its impact on our happiness and fulfillment can be the first step toward positive change.

Is Striving for Perfection Really a Bad Thing?

You might be wondering, isn't it a good thing to want to do your best?

There’s nothing wrong with striving to do better— in fact this kind of healthy achievement is important in life. But where do we draw the line between healthy striving and unhealthy perfectionism?

Brené Brown captures this distinction perfectly in the “The Gifts of Imperfection” (another great read I’d highly recommend!)

Unhealthy perfectionism is driven by a harsh inner critic: “You should have done better.” “You’ve made yourself look like a fool.” This self-talk breeds shame and guilt, leading to overworking, procrastination, anxiety, and, in some cases, burnout.

In contrast, healthy striving involves discomfort, but it is accompanied by self-compassion. It’s about stretching yourself for growth, not out of fear or to prove your worth to others. You might still feel nervous or uncertain, but you’ll treat yourself with kindness, knowing that discomfort is part of the process.

Healthy striving is about growth with self-compassion; perfectionism thrives on fear and self-criticism.

Of course, it is okay to feel like you’re not “there yet”. The shift is a gradual process for many (including myself!), taking time and effort. You might find it easier to apply in some situations than others.

For me, embracing this distinction wasn’t easy. I had to let go of the perfectionist mindset I had about achieving specific life milestones. It took time, but once I started letting go of those rigid expectations, I found room for creativity, joy, and freedom—especially in coaching. But even now, this process is still a work in progress, and that’s okay.

The Pursuit of Perfection Is a Losing Game

Perfection is unattainable, and here’s why: like freshly fallen snow in winter, it’s beautiful and fleeting—eventually the snow melts into slush. We can savour those moments of perfection when they come, but if we cling to them, we'll forever be pursuing something unattainable.

Savor the perfect moments when they come, but don't chase them endlessly—perfection is fleeting.

I’ve experienced this in my own work: every time I reached what I thought was 'perfect,' there was always another goal to pursue. It was exhausting. Worse still, the more I chased perfection, the more I tied my self-worth to an unrealistic standard, leading to greater stress, anxiety, and dissatisfaction.

In the end, you find yourself trapped in a never-ending race, constantly striving for the next perfect moment, but never fully appreciating what you’ve accomplished or who you are.

How to Embrace Imperfection

In a world that often celebrates perfection, embracing imperfection can feel like an uphill battle. Some environments—whether at work or in our social circles—may even reward perfectionist tendencies, leaving little room for mistakes. But the goal isn’t to defeat perfectionism entirely (which is often unrealistic); it’s to embrace imperfection and make peace with it.

Mistakes may always feel uncomfortable, but we can learn to accept them as part of being human, not as reflections of our inadequacy.

Here’s a few things you can do to start your journey of embracing imperfection:

1) Recognise Your Perfectionism Triggers

Start by identifying where perfectionism shows up in your life. Is it in your work, home life, or relationships? Recognizing when perfectionism is helping or hindering you is the first step to change. Awareness is the foundation of progress.

2) Practice Imperfection to Build Resilience

It might sound counterintuitive, but intentionally practicing imperfection can help you build resilience. Try doing something at 70% instead of 110%. Send an email with a small typo or leave a task unfinished. Notice how it feels—and sit with that discomfort. Gradually, this practice can loosen the hold perfectionism has on you.

(Note: This doesn’t mean sabotaging important tasks—just introducing small doses of imperfection in areas where the stakes are low.)

3) Shift Your Mindset for Growth

Prioritize progress, not perfection. Recognize that mistakes don’t define you—they help you grow. Every step forward, even if imperfect, moves you closer to who you’re meant to be.

I keep a picture on my wall that says, "Mistakes are a gift for growing." When I feel discouraged, a glance at that picture reminds me that my mistakes are just stepping stones, and I don’t have to be perfect to move forward.

4) Recognize What May Be Limiting Your Growth

If you’re still struggling, check for external factors that might be enforcing perfectionism. Is there pressure from your environment? Talk to others to gain perspective, and identify what you can control. Seek support from colleagues and mentors, and remember that a toxic environment isn’t worth sacrificing your growth or well-being.

You Are Already Enough

Your worth isn’t tied to perfection. The goal isn’t to do everything flawlessly; the goal is to show up as you are—imperfect, but enough.

Shifting away from perfectionist thinking takes time, and it’s okay to stumble along the way. Every small step you take counts. Perfectionism might still creep in from time to time, but with practice, you’ll become more attuned to its presence—and better equipped to manage it.

If perfectionism is still holding you back, let’s talk about how you can embrace imperfection and truly thrive.